Spiritual resources for grievers during the holiday season
By Arizona Bell
With the holidays in plain view, many grievers are gearing up for the absolute worst time of their year—cold months where seemingly everyone around them is in warm, good cheer, as perhaps they themselves used to be during this season, yet they can no longer relate. Feeling quite opposite of cheery, they feel the despair of feeling somehow misplaced. Misunderstood. Missing.
I miss you and I always will—the griever’s holiday mantra.
This year, with so much collective grief piled on top of our personal losses and hurts, I wanted to expand upon a post I wrote last year, which was as follows:
For The Alone On Christmas:
Maybe you’re literally, physically alone, maybe it just feels that way. It’s normal for us to go around saying “happy holidays” as nicety, as courtesy, and for many people this IS the happiest time of year. But, for some, the holidays are unbearably unhappy. These words are for you.
For the depressed, the grieving, the orphaned, the highly sensitive, the lost, the left—this time of year can make already-existing feelings of aloneness deepen, to the point of depression, despondency, and, sometimes, suicidal thoughts. This time of year, seeds of loneliness water and sun and grow, sometimes proliferating and, if we’re not careful, becoming malignant.
If this is you, now, I want you to know that I see you, I feel you, and I am you. I write this because I know this. Since the loss of my mother and the subsequent slow-motion crash of my life as I knew it, the typically happy holidays of my 30 years of life that far instantly became something that asphyxiated me—something impossible to endure. I felt like anchor, like boulder, like crushing weight. While I’m no longer in that unbearable state of sinking, the holidays are still not something I enjoy. Maybe one day, but not yet. And you know what? That’s O-Fucking-Kay!
When cocooning is vital, it’s vital. Get under that silk and sulk.
From a spiritual level of thought, aloneness is an illusion, yes, but on a human level, it seems to be everywhere and feels like a fact. And, frankly, the only cure is to find and plug into the source of Spirit. Us: sunbeams meant to follow our rays to the hub. To home.
So, from my human, hurting heart to yours, I want you to know that if you are feeling alone today, tonight, ever, please know I am with you. To anyone who is feeling any variation of lost or alone or shattered, if the holidays are only about survival for you, you are not alone. If you feel an all-consuming dark, go inward because that’s where the light is. If you feel out of control, surrender because that’s where the way is shown. If you feel suicidal, DM me @_arizonabell and we will remind each other how to butterfly.
The holidays are still not something I enjoy. Maybe one day, but not yet.
I wrote that from the depths of my soul, from the center of my heart, from the eye of my hurt. I didn’t even know that message was in me looking to come out, but one evening as I scrolled through all the “happy” holiday instagram posts, I was so FUCKING PISSED (and no, there is no softer way to say this). The holidays had become the opposite for me—undeniably unhappy—and I figured that if they were that way for me, they must be for others as well.
I ended up writing the post I wanted to read. The one that said out loud: you are not alone, because me fucking too.
The message was well received, which I took to mean: holiday grief (like grief in general) is a thing that needs more attention. We need to do a better job of taking care of our bereaved, especially this time of year.
After that post, I chatted all night—and for multiples days following—with many people scattered all over the globe who resonated with this time of deep despair and loneliness. We spent the night virtually listening, mourning, and space holding together. And it was so nice not to feel alone. To feel understood. To feel somehow belonged in such an isolating heart space.
I decided right then and there to offer that every year for the rest of my life. So, if you need to talk at any point over the holidays about your losses, your grief, your despair, or anything, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or DM me on instagram @_arizonabell.
Additionally, this year I have put together a resource for grievers, which is presented below on this page.
And to be crystal clear about what we’re dealing with here: physical death does not have a monopoly on grief—we can grieve relationships (including, and especially, friendships) ending, losing our job, gaining a disease. We can grieve the seeming loss of our true self. We can carry the grief of our ancestors. We can grieve for the terrors of the world. We can grieve for things that have never even been.
However, it’s really important to understand that while there are a million different faces for grief, there is only one cure. And that is connection to Spirit.
Please enjoy this free guide, which I hope will inspire strengthening your connection to Spirit in any way that calls out to you.
I see you. I feel you. I am you.
And, sincerely, I love you.
We grieve hard because we love hard
Navigating Loss: Death, Grief, And Afterlife Resources For The Now Age
A Brief Introduction
Every great spiritual sage since time immemorial has seen death not as a period, but as a semicolon. A doorway to another phase of life. A graduation.
And mainstream science is finally catching up to it.
The Windbridge Research Center‘s current research finds that “grief is best resolved when the bereaved are able to recognize their continuing bonds with the deceased.” My research from talking to many people one on one supports this idea fully.
The “after-death communication” (ADC) personal experiences I have had myself coupled with the indisputable scientific evidence, both historically and contemporarily, have resulted in me knowing with every bone in my body that “death” is only the loss of a body, and that our personalities and consciousness and light continue to exist, merely moving onto the next stage of eternal life.
This is not wishful or superstition or religious thinking.
This is not a platitude.
That our consciousness and personality and soul survive after our physical body expires is a fact that has been proven through decades of (often underground) afterlife research. A society rooted deep in the limitations of religion has not been ready for this novel research, so it has largely been repressed or written off as quackery.
But I contend that any serious inquiry into the facts of afterlife research leaves one with no doubt of its reality.
It is with confidence, then, that I say to you that your deceased loved ones are still as alive as the day they had a physical body—and, actually, I believe that they are more alive, more authentic, and more happy now!
Luckily, today is a new dawn—where we can actually begin to speak the facts out loud. And I am more than confident that anyone who dares look death in the eyes will come to the same conclusion that I have over the past many years: what lies beyond our human life is more real and more awesome than the life we live today in this ultimately illusory 3D reality; that death is an illusion; that we don’t die.
Thus, many of the resources in this guide are seen through the lens of continuity of consciousness as truth.
How To Support A Friend Going Through A Difficult Time
Whether you are grieving or you know someone who is, I’d like you to start with this short video. The way we support (or, rather, don’t) our grievers in this modern age has become an immense failure. This video offers the basics of what’s not working, why it’s not working, and what actually does work. If you feel unsupported in your grief, this is a nice introduction as to why you feel that way, and how you can help people better help you. If you are looking to help someone in their time of grief, this is vital.
Eckhart Tolle on What Happens At The Time of Death
Modern spiritual sage Eckhart Tolle offers a beautiful explanation on death and what comes next. “There is no such thing as death. There only seems to be. It’s a transmutation of form. Ultimately, there is no death. It does not mean that you can’t feel sad.”
“If you are grieving the recent loss of a close loved one, please honor your grief. Express your feelings. Cry. Accept the fact that you won’t get over it, but you will get through it. I, as a medium, can assure you that your loved one is doing well, loves you, and continues to be a part of your life.”
– Susanne Wilson, Soul Smart
- A Lawyer Presents the Evidence for the Afterlife by Victor and Wendy Zammit
- Soul Smart: What the Dead Teach Us About Spirit Communication by Susanne Wilson
- Proof of Heaven by Dr. Eben Alexander
- Dying to be Me by Anita Moorjani
- Your Soul’s Plan: Discovering the Real Meaning of the Life You Planned Before You Were Born by Robert Schwartz
- Messages of Hope Suzanne Giesemann
- Soul Proof by Mark Pitstick
- The Eleven Questions: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Life, Death, and the Afterlife by Mark Pitstick
- Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives by Michael Newton
- Afterlife of Billy Fingers: How My Bad-boy Brother Proved to Me There’s Life After Death by Annie Kagan
- We Don’t Die: A Skeptics Discovery of Life After Death by Sandra Champlain
- Near-Death in the ICU: Stories from Patients Near Death and Why We Should Listen to Them by Laurin Bellg, MD
- The Afterlife Unveiled: What the Dead are Telling Us About Their World by Stafford Betty, Ph.D.
- Surviving Death: A Journalist Investigates Evidence For An Afterlife by Leslie Kean
- Answers About the Afterlife: A Private Investigator’s 15-Year Research Unlocks the Mysteries of Life After Death by Bob Olsen
- Hello From Heaven! A New Field of Research – After-Death Communication – Confirms that Life and Love are Eternal by Bill Guggenheim and Judy Guggenheim
- On The Edge of The Etheric by Arthur Findlay
- It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn’t Understand It by Megan Devine
- The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
- Wild by Cheryl Strayed
- Tears to Triumph: The Spiritual Journey from Suffering to Enlightenment by Marianne Williamson
- Pet Grief Books by Wendy Van de Poll
Groups, Events & Organizations
Afterlife Research and Education Institute (AREI)
AREI supports afterlife research and education that will help humankind understand eternal life and our true nature as spiritual beings having a physical experience.
AREI Zoom Groups
Headed by afterlife researchers Victor and Wendy Zammit (AREI board members), these weekly Zoom meetings offer a wide range of informative sessions around cutting-edge afterlife research.
Helping Parents Heal
Helping Parents Heal is a non-profit organization dedicated to assisting bereaved parents, giving them support and resources to aid in the healing process. They have a focus on the afterlife, which is unique and refreshing.
A compilation of information on a wide variety of topics on life after death.
Refuge in Grief: Grief support that doesn’t suck
If your life has exploded into a million little bits, you don’t need platitudes. This website prevodies grief support that doesn’t suck.
A “social franchise” meant to gather together in discussion to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.
About The Author
Arizona Bell is the CEO of Spirit Guides Media. As a death, grief, and afterlife researcher, Arizona speaks internationally with the message that examining death and what happens to us after death is the absolute best way to live our richest, most meaningful lives here on Earth. Her books “This Is How You BE: A Simple Guide To True Happiness” and “Soul Magic: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mystics” are available now.
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